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Golf Funnies

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golf and beer

Drinking at the Golf Club

Cliff was out drinking at the golf club all night. He was concerned that he might be too drunk as to not wake his wife when he got home. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. Cliff tried to stand again, but to no avail. He fell flat on his […]

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Golf Walk

Walking With Your Wife

WALKING ON THE GRASS The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops, and try to stay on a soft surface […]

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old man laugh

Member of a Member

A foursome of ladies were about to play a par three, 165 yards long. Suddenly, out from the trees beside the fairway, a streaker runs across the open expanse of the fairway. With a gasp, one lady remarks, ‘I think I know that guy-isn’t that Dick Green?’ ‘No,’ replies another, ‘I think it’s just a […]

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Skeet Golf

Business Golf

Three friends play golf together every Saturday. One day they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said it was okay. They teed off. About two holes into the game, the […]

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standupcomic

Classic Golf One-Liners

  Bad? I’ll tell you how bad he is. In his bag he carries flares, a compass and emergency rations. The position of your hands is very important when playing golf. I use mine to cover up my scorecard. The way he plays they should put the flags on the greens at half-mast. He had […]

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Golf Rule Book

New Rules of Golf

Here are some additional Rules of Golf that should be adopted immediately. I’m sure you’ve all used at least some of  these in the past, and will now use them in the future. If a ball is swung at and missed A player who assumes his stance, formally addresses the ball and then fairly strikes […]

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tn_laugh23

Playing Hookie & Playing Golf

Johnny hates school and would much rather spend the day on the local golf course. Consequently he often skips school and doesn’t quite know what is going on there. On one of the few occasions that he does turn up, it was too wet to get out on the course, the teacher asked, ‘Johnny, who […]

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golf and beer

Don’t Feed The Animals

A man was playing golf one day. He saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake and set the frog free. But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked into his golf bag, but he had no […]

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tn_laugh13

First Aid for Golfers

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny afternoon. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Sure enough, the ball hit one of the guys and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell […]

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