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Archive | Golf Jokes

leprechaun-golfer

9 Months Later

Angus, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Paul. So they loaded up Angus’ minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the […]

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Dawg01

Golf Shots Have Nicknames

Feel free to use these nicknames for all of the great golf shots you miss hit … “Willie Nelson” – On the road again. When you hit a golf ball onto a road or path. “An Adolf” – taking two shots in a bunker “Bin Laden” – driven out and never to be found again […]

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hefbeer

The Start of Something Big

   A man comes home after a terrible round of golf, his worst ever.     He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”     The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer […]

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gorillagolf

Favorite Playing Partner

A fellow comes home after his regular Sunday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn’t include George in the games anymore. The husband asks, “Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone […]

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golf and beer

Drinking at the Golf Club

Cliff was out drinking at the golf club all night. He was concerned that he might be too drunk as to not wake his wife when he got home. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. Cliff tried to stand again, but to no avail. He fell flat on his […]

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Golf Walk

Walking With Your Wife

WALKING ON THE GRASS The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops, and try to stay on a soft surface […]

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old man laugh

Member of a Member

A foursome of ladies were about to play a par three, 165 yards long. Suddenly, out from the trees beside the fairway, a streaker runs across the open expanse of the fairway. With a gasp, one lady remarks, ‘I think I know that guy-isn’t that Dick Green?’ ‘No,’ replies another, ‘I think it’s just a […]

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Skeet Golf

Business Golf

Three friends play golf together every Saturday. One day they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said it was okay. They teed off. About two holes into the game, the […]

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standupcomic

Classic Golf One-Liners

  Bad? I’ll tell you how bad he is. In his bag he carries flares, a compass and emergency rations. The position of your hands is very important when playing golf. I use mine to cover up my scorecard. The way he plays they should put the flags on the greens at half-mast. He had […]

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