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Tag Archives | golf humor

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Power Golf Terms for the Macho Golfer

Flame Broiled: A burner right up the middle, a shot so hot it increases the temperature of the fairway in front of you! Blazing a Trail: Powerful penetration into a dense forest of out of bounds jungle foliage, so deep that it takes a full safari expedition to find your ball. Long and Wrong: A […]

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Yea, But How Many Strokes Do I Get?

A young golfer was just starting out on tour. During his first tournament round, which was  going rather well,  he spotted a beautiful woman watching his every move. He thinks to himself, “If I play my cards right, I might be able to take her back to my room.” At the end of the round […]

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The Nympho

Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked women runs across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear. One of the golfers grabs the old man […]

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Bad Luck Harry

Lady Luck was seldom kind to Harry. Although he had a real zest for life he was constantly beset by bad luck. He loved poker but poker did not love him; he played the stock market with great anticipation but always seemed to be the one who bought high and sold low. His life seemed […]

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golfing_god

Arnold and Jesus Play Golf

Jesus and Arnold Palmer were playing golf. It’s Arnold’s turn to tee off, and so he does. It’s a long drive straight up the fairway, and he’s about a seven iron off the green. “Not bad,” Jesus says. So He steps up to tee off, and his too is a straight drive up the fairway, […]

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Can You Spell Golf?

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. “Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor. “P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied. “‘Put’ means to place a thing where you want it. ‘Putt’ is merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

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women golf clubs

Would You Marry Again?

A wife asks her husband, “If I died, would you marry again?” “I would!” “And would you let her come into my house?” “I would!” “Would she be working in my kitchen?” “She would!” “Would she sleep in my bed?” “She would!” “Would she put her clothes in my closet?” “She would!” “Would she be […]

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golfing_god

Moses and Jesus Play Golf

Moses, Jesus, and this other guy are out enjoying a round of golf at the famed (and Heavenly) Augusta National Golf Club. Moses steps up to the tee of the picturesque yet deceiving and tricky uphill/downhill Par 4 11th, unsheathes his brand new 9 degree Callaway Great Big Bertha graphite shaft Titanium driver and crushes […]

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Wedding Golf

A man is getting married, and is standing by his bride at the church. Standing by him is his golf clubs and bag. His bride whispers: “What are your golf clubs doing here?” And the man said “This is not going to take all day is it?”

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