A shipwrecked Scotsman finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regained consciousness on the beach, he noticed a beautiful, unclad nymphet standing over him. “Would you like some food?” she asked.
The Scot hoarsely croaks, “Och, lassie, I havna’ ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!”
She disappeared into the woods and quickly came back with a heaping helping of haggis. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked.
“Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra hungry and I wad verra much like a drink!”
She disappeared into the woods again and returned Sometime later with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey. The Scotsman was beginning to think that he was in heaven! Then, the unclad nymphet leaned towards him and said” Would you like to play around?”
“Och, lassie, don’t tell me ye’ve got a golf course here too!”
See above for another version from my friends at Tight Lies TV