Jamus O’Conner is playing a nice round of golf when he suddenly takes a hard struck golf ball right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he drops to the turf. As soon as he can manage, he gathers himself up and hobbles to see Dr. O’Malley.
“How bad is it Doc?” asks Jamus. “I’m getting married and going on my honeymoon next week, and my fiance is a virgin in every way.”
“I’ll have to put your penis in a splint, Jamus, to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be fine by next week,” the doc says.
The doctor takes four tongue depressors and makes a neat 4-sided bandage and tapes it all together.
“An impressive work of art!” says the doctor admiring his own work.
Jamus says nothing to his bride-to-be, marries and goes off on his honeymoon.
That night in the hotel room, she tears off her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts, a sight Jamus had not seen before.
“You’re the first, Jamus. No one has ever touched these breasts.”
Jamus promptly drops his pants and replies, “Would you look at that honey – It’s still in the crate!”