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Golfing Gorilla


There were these two guys who played golf together frequently. The one guy was several strokes better than the other guy, but the lesser player was very proud, and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game.

Finally, one Saturday morning he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, “You know, I’ve been trying to beat you for so long, I’m about ready to give up. But I heard about this golfing gorilla, and was wondering if it would be OK if he plays for me today. In fact, if you’re willing, I’d like to try to get back all the money I’ve lost to you this year, which I figure comes to about a thousand bucks. You game?”

The other guy thinks about it for a minute, and then decides to play the gorilla, thinking, “after all, how good could a gorilla be at golf?”

Well, the first hole was a straight-away par 4 of 450 yards. The guy hits a beautiful tee shot, 275 yards down the middle, leaving himself a 6 iron to the green.

The gorilla takes a few powerful practice swings and then laces the ball 450 yards, right at the pin, stopping about 6 inches away from the hole. The guy turns to his friend and says “that’s incredible, I would have never believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. But you know what, I’ve seen enough. I’ve got no interest in being totally humiliated by this gorilla golfing machine. You send this f***ing gorilla back to where he comes from – I need a drink, better make it a double, and I’ll write you a check.”

After handing over the check, and well into his second double scotch the guy asks, “By the way, how’s that gorilla’s putting?”

The first guy replies “Same as his driving.”

“That good, huh?”

“No, I mean, he hits putts the same way – 450 yards, right down the middle!”


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