Home Golf Jokes That Won’t Help Your Handicap

That Won’t Help Your Handicap


A notorious golfer who always lied about his score had such a bad round he went home and when his wife said, ‘How’d your round go today, dear?’ lost his head and beat the poor Woman to death.

A little later, overcome with guilt, he rang the police and said, ‘I’ve just killed my wife.’

He gave the police his name and address and about a minute later a police car screeched up the driveway and two policemen got out and banged on the door.

Police: ‘Are you the man who said he killed his wife?’

Golfer: ‘Yes, that was me?

Police: ‘Well, where’s the body?’

The golfer took the policemen into the kitchen where a woman lay motionless on the floor. A policeman took out his pen and folder and started to take notes.

Police: ‘Is this woman dead?’

Golfer: ‘Yes.’

Police: ‘And she is your wife?’

Golfer: ‘Yes.’

Police: ‘And you killed her?’

Golfer: ‘Yes.’

Police: ‘How did you kill her?’

Golfer: ‘I beat her to death with my one iron.’

Police: ‘How many times did you actually hit her?’

Golfer: ‘Five-but put me down for four . . .’


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